I honestly don't like using the word "sexy" because it is too overused in media that it's become "diluted." You know what I mean: you see a person with celebrity wearing something very stylish and elegant and they call her sexy; then in the next page, a not-so-well-sheathed actress is described with the same word used as a praise, too. What, is "sexy" some sort of catch-all term that means "I don't have any other word to use so here's one I'd like to throw and hopefully you'd all think I gave a compliment"?
I'm like this with words, so please forgive me. I looked up sexy in the dictionary and this is what I learned:
sexy–adjective, sex·i·er, sex·i·est.
1. concerned predominantly or excessively with sex; risqué: a sexy novel.
2. sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality: the sexiest professor on campus.
3. excitingly appealing; glamorous: a sexy new car.
Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada
If we just consider meaning number 3, then there really is nothing wrong with sexy--I mean, what's wrong with being glamorous? We all want to be glamorous! and beautiful! and elegant!
The problem, then, lies in the other meanings attached to the S word. Number 2 entails "radiating sexuality," which means putting sexuality above personhood. Some may argue that if you're a woman, you can't help looking like a woman--but of course! I'm not saying we should all dress androgynously. The fact is: there's "ladylike" and then there's dangling one's sexuality for all to see. (At best, the latter just makes you attractive to the opposite sex; at worst, it takes the liberty to scream "Look at me! I'm sexually available!" for you.)
And number 1, of course, is just plain tasteless.
Go English majors!! :) Hehe. Yes I want to be "sexy" --> number 3 meaning, please! I also want to be perceived as "gay" ... as in its old meaning: "happy."
ReplyDeleteIt can be funny/sad... how the meaning of words change.
But really... I always thought the "sexiest" organ was the brain. :)
Anything that turns you on is sexy. For me, the sexiest part of a guy physically is cheekbones. More than abs and shoulders, I like high cheekbones and full lips. That is why I like watching menswear fashion shows and always turn down invites to 100 Sexiest Bachelors et al, where the guys I think are exploited--you dont need to strip down in front of me for me to see your nice bone structure, and if you have a nice body, I can see that through how your clothes fit. I also like guys who are sharply dressed. To me, your status, job or taste level can be reflected in your clothes, and not the lack thereof.
ReplyDeleteOf course, the opposite of sexy, is anything that turns you off. And looking frumpy, the opposite of glamorous, is more often than not, a turn-of.
Yes words change. The word ''salvage'' originally means to save. But here in our country, when you say ''Sinalvage'', it means someone was violently killed.
I guess sexy is an all encompassing positive adjective much like ''nice'', ''cute'' and ''good.''
Impeccable, radiant, appealing, mesmerizing, captivating, enchanting, ravishing, gorgeous, brimming with panache/elan, spunky, funky, amazingly unique...
ReplyDeleteJust words off the top of my head -- pretty limited, huh? I could be wrong but using "sexy" to describe a person, outfit and attitude is partly due to a very limited vocabulary. I myself grapple with words many times, hoping to accurately describe whatever it is I'm talking about.
Also, you know what? I think falling into the "default description" of "sexy" may simply be because the person doesn't really know what to say. Something like... "wala lang." :-)
Hey, petrufied, glad to know you and your friend settled the tiff :-)
Thank God for language aficionados! :-D
And thanks for posting that photo of Andie/Andy looking elegantly spunky ;-) Love that scene!
Nice suggestion...widen your vocabulary! But I would run for my life once a suitor describes me as ''brimming with elan and panache''/''fantastic''/''fabulous''/''chic''. Pardon me but coming from the fashion industry, those words sound so gay when they come from a guy, a definite red flag in a world where some guys pretend theyre straight when they arent. It would be fine if they come from a girl, especially if it's written, like in a magazine, a best dressed feature, or something a fashion police would say. Being a white top/black bottom addict, my favorite words are ''trendproof'' and ''foolproof'' when it comes to dressing.
ReplyDeleteAnd there's nothing wrong with being sexy, even with either of the 3 definitions. My mom would be sad if my dad does not find her ''sexy.'' What's bad is if being sexy is all that youre known for. But ''sexy'' among a myriad of other things--there's nothing wrong with that. It's part of the spark that sets aside your crushes from your equally smart or talented or funny friends.
Heehee! Being told by a man that I am "brimming with elan and panache" would certainly reveal something about him than about me :-)))) At the same time, I am open to the possibility of being described as, say, "fantastique" by an authentic male if he happens to be French who either possesses a certain degree of sophistication or grew up with an admirable degree of innocence.
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail right on the head in something in your comment, Pia. "What's bad is if being sexy is all that you're known for." If I may tweak it a bit to provide to make it more accurate as regards many women nowadays:
"What's bad is if being sexy is what you want to be known for."
I have come across some women who, for one reason or another, have fallen into attaching their self-esteem to their ability to attract men with their sexual appeal. It's sad. I find that many of them just need the help of real friends (as well as family) to realize that there is much more to them than how they look or how expertly they can charm members of the opposite sex. And sadly, when this physical attraction is reinforced by others (both men and women), all the more they stay on the level of externals.
It looks like the preoccupation with attracting the attention of/being appealing to the opposite sex has become too much of a determining factor for fashion choices these days. Or am I entirely off the mark here?
I would love to know what you think, girls.
A happy start of the work week to all :-)
Great discussion girls! <3
ReplyDeleteYes, I think there is a problem with putting too much focus on attracting the opposite sex. A few years ago I had a discussion with some friends about finding the right guy. Of course, we knew that if you dressed up better (not frumpy, though not sexy either--more like pretty, polished, beautiful, elegant but still "you") you could find someone who would love you for who you are. After all, when you marry someone, you marry a person not a body. (Hat-tip to gabi's "sexy brains" hehe)
This is probably why, though it's obvious a suitor isn't gay if he uses sexy to describe me, I think I'll end up wondering and wondering what's going on in his mind if he calls me sexy. After all, he's a suitor, not my husband.
Ok, let's not put sexy in a bad light (definition 3 is positive). Pia has a point with: "What's bad is if being sexy is all that you're known for. But 'sexy' among a myriad of other things--there's nothing wrong with that."
A husband who thinks you're sexy is probably putting it down as a good quality among all your other great qualities--he knows you! But when a suitor who is still trying to get to know you calls you sexy, doesn't that say a little about him? Would he be the "right guy"? Of course, let this not be a black and white thing, that just because a guy calls you sexy, he's blacklisted or something! But it's one consideration, among many, that you will have to ponder on when you look for someone to marry. It's discernment, which is something each of us must grow to have as we get to know that suitor more and more.
If we cloud our perception obsessing over our ability to attract guys just for the sake of, then we lose such a big chance to find the happiness that, really, we all deserve being His children. :-)
Oo nga good discussion sana may iba pang magcomment di lang tayo-tayo. Haha!
ReplyDeleteOn design aesthetic and brands focusing being attractive to males:
Sometimes, depending on the brand (Victorias Secret, for example). I doubt if Maldita and Black Shop focuses on being attractive to males (they are particularly conscious of how the necklines would look on TV since those brands sponsor newscasters). Any line specializing on dressy corporates dont really consider looking good on dates (that is putting a lot of attention to what men think). my designs are usually not worn on dates. (My sister said they cant be worn on dates, my dad says they look too stiff for dates, my friends buy dresses from me if theyre going to baptisms and client calls but change afterwards if they have a date), not on planned dates at least. Last minute date after work, pwede pa. (most of my dates are after work or in between meetings so I go on dates in my designs)
Although each year I have to come out with at least 2 cocktail dresses for parties such as Christmas parties and the ocassional product launches and business cocktails.
The characters I would allow to borrow my clothes on tv are contrabidas, or anyone not required to look sweet or particularly sexy by common definition. I would sponsor Angel Aquino or Cherie Gil if they ask, but never Ruffa Mae or Ruffa Gutierrez. ( A teleserye tried to borrow my clothes before for one of glamorous the contrabida characters but it never pushed through since I had a bazaar coming)
Some of societys ladies I would love to become my customers, which to me have the perfect combination of sexiness and power is my favorite socialite Divine Lee--VP of Realty Firm Globe Asiatique (Beauty, Bucks and Brains) , who can balance going to parties with travelling the world and working hard..
@Pia: OooooOOo yeah Divine Lee's a cut above the rest nga. :)
ReplyDeleteOh... and I'd wear my three DESEO blouses for dates. Just saying. :p
@ Gabi: YAY!!! And for performing, too. Meaning, special occasion. Haha!
ReplyDeleteJust recently, I dropped by For Me (the store) and walked out elated! I bought a pair of jeans that were, I felt, meant for me :-) They were a good fit; except for the length, nothing required adjustment (which has never happened to me when it comes to pants). It is wonderful when one does not feel like she should fit into the clothes. It's like the clothes in this store consider the reality that women come in different shapes and sizes.
ReplyDeleteI noted, too, that much creativity goes into the cuts of the clothes. I never knew there could be so many different ways to fashion sleeves :-)
I need to go back to this store sometime soon, but from that initial lookover of the racks, I could see that I would feel stylishly and tastefully clothed in the pieces.
Pia, where are your pieces sold?
Hi sunnyday (whats your real name?). I sell it online (Click my name in the comments so you can check my site. hehe) and at bazaars only (Next one is the Casa Y Jardin Bazaar in Intercon Hotel on Oct 3, I can give you free entrance if you like). I dont have a place yet. Or you can go to my house. Or I can meet you somewhere--like in a Mall along Edsa.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm sorry. My real name is Diana. Some online acquaintances and friends have taken to calling me "Sunny" but you can call me Diana :-)
ReplyDeleteSige I'll check out your site nga in a while. Thanks ha. Good luck on your ventures!
ForMe is one of those dignified-dresser-friendly stores that my twin sister and I frequent. :) We also like Unica Hija and Kashieca. It's nice that these Filipino brands are budget-friendly as well.
ReplyDelete@Pia: Do you know Kai Lim? She's my socialite style icon. Haha. Talo niya si Divine Lee! Kai Lim could be a model for GUTSY, actually, in the way she dresses.
http://www.stylebible.ph/style-star/dennis-lustico-gala/
ReplyDeleteHere's kai lim, she's nominated for best dressed here at the Dennis Lustico gala. I see her around I just dont know who she is exactly and what she's known for.
http://supreme.ph/post/456181311/just-divine-divine-lee-divinemlee-at-the
Here's my fave socialite at the Hermes party. Haha.
Gala (blacktie) vs cocktail (semi-formal), common trend: draping