The blushing bride

Photos courtesy of Kate Plata-Miciano. This photo (above) taken by Noel Salazar of Imagine Nation Photography

As has been pointed out in a past post, a formal occasion is no excuse to show more skin--in fact, it's a call to look even more dignified than ever! While it's true that some dress styles/cuts (for example, venus cut and tube tops) may seem decent if the wearer is thin or is not well-endowed, their ability to place the person first may still be wanting. Let's forget about debut balls or prom nights for a moment and consider the grande dame of all formal occasions: the wedding day.

On this day, the bride wears white, not merely because all the brides in the past have worn white, but more importantly, to symbolize purity! She is beautiful, pure, modest, and maybe a little bashful... a lady on all counts. Doesn't that mean a woman's wedding day is a day on which she must be most dignified?

I'm not saying that wedding gowns should all be like Grace Kelly's (left). (Remember, we mean "dignified" also in the practical sense--a lady must be able to move with poise and comfort in the gown. How could she do that in a heavily embroidered long-sleeved number when it's 33 degrees outside?)

In this wonderful climate of ours, a bride can instead choose shorter sleeves that give the right coverage to shoulders. That is why the terno style is so becoming of a Filipina bride!

Now, there is really no reason to feel boxed, trapped or cramped in the "conservative" mindset because in all truth, it's not about being conservative, but about respecting the "whiteness"--the purity--of the occasion and valuing that very beautiful gift of the self when one exchanges marriage vows. It's really love, not rules, that moves the bride to wrap her delicate gift carefully! (Why do I use "gift"? A friend once likened a person's body to a special gift: if the gift is something worthless, there's no point in wrapping it well; just toss it in a bag and give it to whoever. But a precious gift you wrap in the best tissue wrappers, box, and ribbons; and you take special care of it until it reaches your recipient.)

Here's why we love copywriter Kate Plata-Miciano's wedding gown: while the basic dress is a strapless number, it fits her perfectly and doesn't show cleavage. To cover her shoulders, she wears a 3/4 sleeve cover-up that is light enough not to be too hot, but heavy enough not to be too exposed. In choosing that design, Kate followed her own sense of style. Kate writes:


"The real scoop about that gown is it's a second choice. The first one I wanted was also decent; only, one week before the wedding, my first modista, Loida Hunter, completely screwed it up. Everything about the gown she made was wrong, it had low neckline when we asked her to put it up a bit. The back was very plunging when we asked her to put more cloth, and the whole thing made me look fat. All that after 3 months of waiting! To make things worse, she wasn't so open about our observations about the gown so we had to find someone else to make it.

"So we went to my mom's modista, Vilma Orticio. She was able to make my second gown in a week and at such an affordable price! I chose the mermaid cut design because it's always slimming. And since I like to have lace on my gown, we used it as design of the body and as bolero. I've always loved the mermaid cut with lacey bolero so that's what I chose as design."


See, dignified dressing is not about sticking to rules, but knowing what makes a lady truly beautiful--the value of her whole person!--and expressing that through her elegant (and appropriate) style choices. Congratulations, Kate!

Photo taken by Bob Guerrero.

The formal question

Photo of Cate Blanchett (styled by Michael Roberts) taken by Annie Leibovitz for Vanity Fair.

Why is it that when it comes to formal wear, showing off more skin has become the "accepted" way to go?

I've noticed that girls who won't normally wear plunging necklines to the mall seem not to think twice about wearing cleavage-bearing gowns... is it because the more skin you expose, the more festive you look? Or is the formal occasion enough excuse to subscribe (succumb?) to a Hollywood-ized definition of beauty?

When it comes to formal occasions, the need for wearing appropriate attire seems more highlighted (I say seems because appropriate attire is required on all occasions), possibly because it's indicated in the invitation. What makes a dress formal? It's definitely not "more skin," or else beachwear would be formal.

The right dress (a better word would be "evening dress" or "gown," but let's stick to "dress" for more flexibility) for a formal occasion is made of the right fabric (chiffon, silk, velvet, satin, taffeta...) in the right cut (it complements your body type), length (either mid-calf, ankle-length, floor-length), and silhouette (A-line, sheath, empire, mermaid...). I use "right" because all these options must suit the wearer!

Just describing the typical formal gown is making me feel constricted already! But that's just the basic idea; the fun starts in how the lady wears the dress. What color (or color scheme) does she settle with? What kind of shoes does she pair with it? Jewelry? Accessories? Makeup?

Besides all these considerations, there's the underwear to get right: always figure out if your dress needs a slip before wearing it! (Read: Where did the slip go?) Hardly does a dress come with the right lining nowadays.

Now, going back to the question: is more skin-bearing a requirement to formalize the attire? Definitely not! After all, it's all about playing up what looks good on you and not about showing off what you've got. And when each lady dresses the part to celebrate (and not to get attention), the true spirit of the occasion will be better felt.