“What??? ‘Wag ka nang sumama dun di bagay yang suot mo, lahat sila dun di ganyan ang suot, you’ll just look
out of place. Baka magmukha ka lang mongha dun!”
--My mom’s reaction when I told him that my businessman friend is inviting me to go out with him and a bunch of beauty queens.
I’m a leggings and dressy top kind of girl. Smart Casual/Dressy corporate is my favourite attire. Something safe—something I can wear to meetings, to the mall, maybe to a not so formal dinner date. But Smart Casual is not something you wear to a night-out of partying of cocktails or maybe dancing with friends. So when a friend of mine told me he was in Manila, and that he would like to invite me to cocktails in one of the most popular bars in the metro, I declined, knowing that I won’t have time to change from my “daily attire” to the suitable “bar attire”. Especially when he said, “Kasama naming friends ng girlfriend ko, BB Pilipinas candidates”.
No, I am not in any way encouraging everyone to dress like a beauty queen when going to a bar—fitted dresses, platform heels, big hair, false eyelashes. What I am saying here is that part of modesty is dressing within context. Simply put, wearing the right clothes includes considering occasion, location, company and sensibilities of people you are with.
Standards of modesty vary by culture. I think this is most obvious with Islam women who in the heat of the city only have their kohl-rimmed eyes exposed since exposure of hair, other parts of the face or even the ankle are considered immodest, whereas, other cultures don’t go to that extreme.
The left one is the digitally covered one to suit the sensibilities of the Middle East Market.
The one on the right is the original US H&M Campaign.
A large part of modesty depends on context. For example, a bathing suit worn in the mall is considered immodest while in the beach and swimming pools, bathing suits are the proper attire. (Wearing them with shorts, in fact are prohibited in some sports clubs). For men, board shorts are not immodest in the beach, but these are inappropriate as office or Church attire.
My dad wears white linen shirts and dark jeans/trousers to work, to church, to the mall, everywhere—even to the beach. He looks normal in a mall setting, or to work as a photographer, but when he goes to the beach in the same clothes, people are staring at him in a weird way as if he is out of place. One even remarked, “Wala na bang ibang damit ang dad mo?”
For dresses as in special occasions—you also have to consider the setting. A floor length prom dress in heavy fabric may look elegant in a ballroom-setting prom, but cocktail length and lighter fabrics are the way to go should the prom be held in a gym or in a venue without airconditioning (In the same way that wearing backless in an airconditioned venue may be immodest, and may cause bronchitis).
Modesty is not only the amount of skin you cover, but also the way you wear your hair and make up. Dyed hair, colourful makeup, tattoos, body piercings and ripped jeans may look great when your job is a stylist, or if you work as a creative staff member in an ad agency, but doing so in a regular corporate setting would be improper. One would say that their fashion is their way of expressing themselves, “This is me; it is my creative outlet”. Yes, truly, personal style can say a lot about the person, as it is your way of presenting yourself without saying a word—but you also have to take the sensibilities of others and rules (such as dress codes) into consideration.
You can say, to some extent, that modesty is relative. But in any kind of dress code, there is always the more modest choice. For example, choose a tankini or one piece suit instead of a bikini for the beach, leggings instead of cycling shorts when working out, for cocktail dressing, you can get knee length instead of micro mini.
* Written by a GUTSY correspondent
